My name is Emily and I am 30 years old. When I was between the ages of 4 and 6 I was molested by my uncle, whom at the time was a child also. He was between 12 and 15. I just recently told my family my secret that I carried around with me for over 24 years. Telling has been the best thing that I have ever done for myself.

I am writing not tell the specifics of the abuse but I want my story to inform people that there is such a thing as children molesting children. For those a victim of being molested by another child, it is real. It is just like children committing murder, the age does not matter, the person is still dead.

Molestation is more than physical and sexual. It is about manipulation, blackmail and power or control. It is based around making you the victim scared. An adult can do it and children, believe it or not, are capable too. There is a big difference in a child being curious to touch or see another child. When that child is using their power over you that changes the whole definition about what they are doing.

For many years I felt that what happened to me was normal. In my late teen years I felt that it was both of our faults, because I did not do enough to try to stop it. I spent most of my life feeling ashamed, guilty, dirty, different, unworthy, alone, and slutty. I felt like people could see right through me that I was a bad person and that no one thought of me in a good way. I want say I did not feel loved, but rather not loved enough. I felt like no one really ever had or would really love the real me. I just had to except the amount that I could get.

When I was 25 I started dating a man that had a little girl that was 5 years old. We became very close and spent a lot of time together. This was when I realized, hey I was this little girl. Innocent. I realized that what happened to me was not my fault, I did not ask for that kind of treatment.

After this kind of realization, I did not know what to do. I went through many, many emotional rollercoasters inside myself, because I felt I had no one to talk about this with. Finally, when I was 28 I met a man who is now my husband. He was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I knew he really loved me for all of me and I never felt like that before. I had alot of trouble letting myself get close to him and becoming vulnerable. That is when I realized I needed some help and got counseling.

I have been going to counseling for 2 years now and it has totally changed me for the best. I did not realize how dead inside I was. I had been like that for so long I thougt it was normal.

Now my secret is out and I am free. I feel like a big weight has been lifted off of my back. I hope that anyone that has been hurt by someone else can find the inner strength to let it out. You owe it to yourself. It is the only way to stop it. I know how hard it is to get yourself to that point of being able to tell. It took me 24 years and 2 years of counseling to do it, but once again I say it is the best thing I have ever done for myself and it can be for you too. Nobody deserves bad things to happen to them, there are no excuses for it but it is up to you to make yourself to believe that. You can then let go of the past and live in the present and look for the future.