Most of us remember being told as a child to stay away from strangers. Never to go home with anyone we do not know or not to get into a car with someone we do not know. Why? Because more then likely they were a child molester.

This was good advice, and still is today. There are people who will attack children randomly. However, about eighty percent of the sexual abuse reported involved someone the victim knows and trusts. Strangers do however molest and sexually abuse children. Eight out of ten times the abuser is not the "bogeyman" hiding in the bushes. It is normally a stepparent, parent, a grandparent, an uncle, an aunt, a cousin, a neighbor, a family friend, a teacher, a clergyman, or someone else who has easy access to the child.

Schools usually do a good job of warning the kids about strangers. But we are just starting to teach them that the people to worry about could be in their own family or a close friend.

"The child molester, or more scientifically, the pedophile, is a person whose major interest in life is to find children to use for sexual gratification. Most of the time molesters are male. Their victims may be male or female. Because they are constantly seeking new victims, molesters frequent areas where children are available. Such places as parks, playgrounds, schools, movie theaters, shopping malls, arcades, and carnivals are favorite places to search for potential victims."

Pedophiles use many different ways to persuade children or adolescents to go with them. Some act like a friend of the parents who says that the parents asked him/her to pick up the child. Some ask for help with directions or with helping find a lost puppy. Some will promise candy, money or drugs. No matter what, the motive remains the same: To get that child to engage in sexual activity.

Some pedophiles will use force to get what they want. Most often they use threats of harm to child if anyone finds out about it to keep the kid from talking to anyone about it. They may say something like "I'll come back and kill you if you tell anyone," or, "I know where you live, I'll be waiting for you."

It is very frightening for a child to be attacked by a molester. They may be confused and/or scared that the parents will be angry. The abuser counts on this reaction; the child may be too scared or upset to even tell someone. The child may have broken a rule of getting into the car or by not being where they were suppose to be, the child fears the anger of the parents and usually won't tell.

No matter what it is very important that the child tells as soon as physically possible. The sooner the child tells the better the chances of the abuser being caught. If it is not reported then this abuser can turn around and do this to someone else.

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Quote found in "Coping with Sexual Abuse" by Judith Cooney